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Holding Back

Written on January 5, 2012

With all the Lord granted in 2011 alongside the unknown of 2012 looming ahead, we decided we ourselves needed a full night of seeking and prayer, so would offer our congregation the sanctuary as well for the night of New Year’s Eve dawning into the New Year.

The personal quest of the night ahead came from a song of Misty Edwards: “What are You thinking? What are You feeling? I need to know.”

Thankfully very soon a direction came on seeking where God IS.  He led to Romans 2:4 and surrounding verses. “Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?’

Word-by-word was revealing the heart of God: His goodness (causing ease in our movements), forbearance (very strong Greek word on how He is literally having to HOLD BACK, ana = up and back, echo = to have, to hold), plus longsuffering (long temper). All three of these generosities are at a cost to Him day after day on top of the ultimate Sacrifice He won for us in the Cross. These costs to Him ARE MEANT to led us to repentance. When they come to us, they should translate to repentance.

This verse clearly says we are “unaware” of this. We need to BECOME aware of it. The verse also said we show contempt, disdain, despise, think little of the wealth being poured upon us in this continual sacrifice of the heart of God. We feel entitled without even realizing what we are doing. To Him, it is contempt toward His rich goodness.

A picture developed further on “forbearance.” He is holding back on something huge. It has been warned throughout Scripture. The verses following 2:4 reveal this era will change as well. I see this huge holding back no less than the walls of the Red Sea held at bay for a full night. What exertion. What power. What Decision of deliverance! Unlike the hours of that evening, this mighty holding back has gone on centuries up to the present.

This word made us ache for the heart of God and what we are doing to His benevolence.

What does this do to the forecast of 2012?
This was a very relational glimpse into the Father. Being ”unaware,” but now am more aware. Can this be shared to make others aware, too?

He graciously gave me what  we set out to know: what are You thinking, what are You feeling…and now have a better idea.


e Lord granted in 2011 alongside the unknown of 2012 looming ahead, we decided we ourselves needed a full night of seeking and prayer, so would offer our congregation the sanctuary as well for the night of New Year’s Eve dawning into the New Year.

The personal quest of the night ahead came from a song of Misty Edwards: “What are You thinking? What are You feeling? I need to know.”

Thankfully very soon a direction came on seeking where God IS. He led me to Romans 2:4 and surrounding verses. “Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?’

Word-by-word was revealing the heart of God: His goodness (causing ease in our movements), forbearance (very strong Greek word on how He is literally having to HOLD BACK, ana = up and back, echo = to have, to hold), plus longsuffering (long temper). All three of these generosities are at a cost to Him day after day on top of the ultimate Sacrifice He won for us in the Cross. These costs to Him ARE MEANT to led us to repentance. When they come to us, they should translate to repentance.

This verse clearly says we are “unaware” of this. We need to BECOME aware of it. The verse also said we show contempt, disdain, despise, think little of the wealth being poured upon us in this continual sacrifice of the heart of God. We feel entitled without even realizing what we are doing. To Him, it is contempt toward His rich goodness.

A picture developed further on “forbearance.” He is holding back on something huge. It has been warned throughout Scripture. The verses following 2:4 reveal this era will change as well. I see this huge holding back no less than the walls of the Red Sea held at bay for a full night. What exertion. What power. What Decision of deliverance! Unlike the hours of that evening, this mighty holding back has gone on centuries up to the present.

This word made me ache for the heart of God and what we are doing to His benevolence.

What does this do to the forecast of 2012?
This was a very relational glimpse into the Father. I was “unaware,” but now am more aware. Can I share this to make others aware, too?

He graciously gave me what I set out to know: what are You thinking, what are You feeling…I now have a better idea.


Together for Him, Cathy

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